Are You Open to Feedback?

My learnings on what blocks feedback and how to get better feedback

I didn’t understand the significance of feedback until I was accountable for something critical, or when I dealt with something beyond my competencies. When I started writing, I got desperate to know other perspectives and so I urged people, telling them how much I wanted to hear their criticism over their praise.

I have realised that feedback is one of the easiest ways towards improvement but doesn’t always get its deserved importance. Here’s what I have learnt on what hampers feedback and what can be done to obtain constructive criticism.

Rush!

Who doesn’t like checking off action items! Well, I am no different. I usually skip feedback or get defensive thinking that it may add extra tasks to what I have already considered done.

However, that’s done from just my point of view and this definition of done is not comprehensive. I have at times ended up putting more effort into rework than the effort I was trying to save.

The right definition of done!

We need to consider feedback as part of our definition of done. I have experienced that bringing this shift into practice is difficult and cannot happen overnight.

However, this change in perception towards the definition of done helps me with the added space and patience to ask for and consider feedback.

I try this as much as I can and at least for the important things I am dealing with. Trust me, it goes a long way in improving my work and also reduces the risk of backfiring.

Excitement!

This usually happens to me with my closed ones when I showcase something with high energy and they don’t wish to hurt me by saying something otherwise. These are people whom I trust more and they truly want me to be the best, but by showing excitement I end up blocking the most honest feedback I could get.

So nowadays instead of starting with a “Yes! I finally got this right.” I take a pause, control my excitement and only then ask for reviews. Better, if I manage to even talk negatively like “I have got this far but something isn’t clicking yet. Can you share your thoughts?”

Ego!

When we feel too proud of our work for someone to question or share feedback, we tend to underestimate the other person or may even end up in conflicts. Although, the fact remains that feedback only helps us get better and believing in this is the simple solution to keep our ego in check.

Don’t change a thing but gather feedback

There are times I don’t feel like modifying anything even after garnering feedback, but I do feel more confident and prepared having known the different perspectives.

Chose the right people

It’s great to have people around who lift your mood when you are down, but asking feedback from those who would only praise you, or showcase your work to those who are quite naive on the topic won’t get your work any better.

When it comes to feedback, choose whom you think have the required knowledge or the skills to review your work.

Most importantly, make it a habit!

You cannot ask for feedback one fine day and expect it to be an honest one unless you have developed in a person with whom people are comfortable sharing their critical thoughts.

Now how to get there? Easier said than done but practice asking for feedback as much as you can.

“I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.” — Elon Musk

I hope you liked reading about my experience with feedback. Thank you for your time!

Are You Open to Feedback? was originally published in The Writing Cooperative on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.