We had a relative visit for a week and we had a wonderful time! The greatest thing about Grandma is that she has no verbal filter. I imagine most 80 year olds don’t.
We used to live on a boat. We still have plastic wine glasses (they are blue, small, and adorable). We have a couple of plastic cups with “Captain” written on them. We have a few other differing ones as well. The reason you keep plastic cups on a boat is because drinks sliding off surfaces and falling is a regular occurance. They are all perfectly functional cups and glasses.
At the beginning of our early Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday, which I spent ALL DAY ON MY FEET COOKING for Grandma, we all sat down with our chosen drinks. Tea, soda, and juice. Grandma said, “Why don’t your cups match?”
Because we LIKE our boat cups, that’s why.
No, I didn’t say that out loud.
It got better after that! I can’t stand candied yams but I knew she did so I made some. She put the serving spoon into the casserole dish, and said, “Oh, you don’t mash yours? I always mashed mine!”
I told her, “No, I don’t mash mine.”
She added, “And, the tops of your marshmallows look like scabs!”
Brian looked pretty upset and the boys’ eyes were as wide as saucers, looking to see my reaction. All I could do was laugh. What other choice did I have?
Brian was up sweeping the next morning, after doing the breakfast dishes, and Grandma said, “I see dog nose prints on your windows!”
She forgot her hairbrush so I offered to loan her the one from the boys’ bathroom that they never use. She said it was too hard. Brian had to drive 20 minutes to CVS (and 20 minutes back) to get her another one. She said that was too hard, too.
She forgot to bring her own curling iron. I loaned her mine. It’s one of the fat ones (you girls know what I’m talking about). I held it up, and told her, “It’s one of the fat ones. Is this okay?”
She responded, “Oh, perfect! It’s just like mine!”
The next day, she said it was too big so she couldn’t use it.
And, that wasn’t all. If you email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, I’ll tell you the rest.
Grandma left on Tuesday morning so life it back to normal now. Tons of work (it’s our busy season at BookLocker), choir practice, church, guitar lessons – the works. And, the best part is, nobody has the flu right now!
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- When Relatives Say, “Don’t Write About Me!” By Karen Carver
- “Can I re-publish a deceased relative’s book that’s been out of print for decades?”
- “Why won’t Amazon let my relatives post (fake!) reviews about my new book?”
- Do I Need A Model Release From Relatives?
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