For 5 years I was tired, now I can finally admit that I feel alive

A few years ago, I was sick of everything. Pretending every day was different, things were changing, but they were lies. I felt trapped, stuck in a loop, a fuzzy filter on every memory. I felt like I was channel surfing, never finding something good to watch, and eventually I felt it surround me, I got therapy to get better, for a while it worked, but never fully. Horrible thoughts entered my mind, but I could never do that to my friends or family. I eventually began to just embrace it, floating through every day and then starting the next one.

About a year ago…that changed. I noticed something different. I was excited to get out of bed in the morning, I talked to more people, began new things and projects, helped others with their problems. It still felt fuzzy but it was getting clearer. I woke up this morning and noticed something. The static has cleared. I have more emotion, more hope, more everything. I no longer feel tired of my life every waking hour of the day.

This post is for me to vent, but it’s also to let others know. You may feel like your in a losing battle, you may be trapped in a world that takes whatever it wants from you. You may feel like no matter what you do or say, it won’t get better. Your wrong, you will survive, you will get better, you will be set free. I believe in you. As others believed in me. Sometimes what you want is only a few steps away, all you need to do is keep walking.

Now I know some of you will scroll past this not even reading the whole story. Others might even consider it cringe. But no matter what you say, I don’t hope this feeling on anyone, not even to them.

Thank you, and I hope you make it through whatever life throws at you!