7 Surprising Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected by Your Mother—Psychologists Reveal What to Watch For
Ever catch yourself wondering why some feelings quietly tiptoe around your heart, unsure if they’re even allowed to exist? I did—especially after a close friend confided that she often felt like she was “too much” for people, shutting down her excitement just to avoid being seen as annoying. Turns out, her mother’s constant dismissal—“toughen up” and “stop being dramatic” being the classic refrains—left subtle scars that echo well into adulthood. It got me digging, peeling back the layers of maternal emotional neglect and how it shapes the way women live, love, and even think. In this post, I’m unpacking eight telling behaviors shaped by those early, unseen wounds. Why? Because understanding these patterns isn’t just about diagnosis—it’s about lighting the way to compassion, healing, and maybe even reclaiming that “too much” energy as something powerful. Curious to see if any of these resonate with you or someone you know? Let’s dive in.
I’ve always been intrigued by the subtle ways our childhood experiences can shape how we think, feel, and act as adults. One of my close friends used to worry constantly that she was “too much” for people. If she got excited about a new idea, she’d immediately hold back and question whether she was being annoying.
When we talked about it, she shared that her mother often dismissed her feelings growing up. Whenever she tried to express herself, she was told to “toughen up” or “stop being dramatic.”
This got me digging into the research behind emotional neglect in childhood—especially how it affects girls who later become women.
In this post, I want to explore eight behaviors that women may display if they experienced maternal emotional neglect. My hope is that shining a light on these patterns can foster more compassion and understanding.
1. They have trouble trusting their own feelings
I’ve noticed that many women who grew up without consistent emotional support from their mothers seem to second-guess their own emotional responses. They might feel sad, hurt, or excited, but they immediately wonder if they’re “allowed” to feel that way.
I’ve had conversations with women who say they were told they were “overreacting” as children, so now they question every emotion.
Over time, this self-doubt can become a habit. Instead of recognizing a gut feeling as a valid signal, they brush it aside or look for someone else to confirm it’s acceptable. It’s like they never learned that their inner world is worth paying attention to.
This uncertainty often carries into adult relationships and work settings, where they might rely heavily on external validation. For me, acknowledging that our emotions are legitimate—no matter how big or small—is a crucial first step in healing from any type of emotional neglect.
2. They struggle with close relationships
Another behavior I’ve seen is a pattern of difficulty in forming and maintaining close relationships. If a woman was often dismissed by her mother, she may have learned early on that people aren’t reliable sources of support.
As an adult, she might keep an emotional distance—even with romantic partners or friends—because she fears being let down again.
It can be something as simple as taking forever to open up about personal struggles or constantly making jokes instead of showing vulnerability. On the flip side, some women might form attachments too quickly, hoping to fill that emotional gap they felt growing up.
In either scenario, the underlying issue is trust. When you haven’t had a dependable maternal figure who validated your feelings, you might unconsciously assume others won’t truly be there for you either. Recognizing this dynamic can be painful, but it also paves the way for building deeper, healthier relationships.
3. They feel unworthy of attention
I’ve met women who genuinely feel uncomfortable receiving attention or praise. They might shrug off compliments with, “Oh, it’s nothing,” or “Anyone could do that.” In my experience, this goes back to a core feeling of unworthiness that takes root when a mother fails to celebrate her child’s accomplishments or feelings.
Instead of learning to take pride in their achievements, they grow up believing they aren’t “enough.” When good things happen, they suspect it’s luck or someone else’s generosity rather than a result of their own merits.
This mindset, known as the “impostor phenomenon” in some circles, can seep into careers, friendships, and personal passions. According to Dr. Carol Dweck’s research on mindsets, acknowledging your worth and capabilities is key to developing a healthier perspective on success.
I like to remind people that we can relearn these beliefs about ourselves—even if it means practicing daily affirmations or celebrating small wins until it feels natural to accept praise.
4. They avoid conflict at all costs
Some women who missed out on a supportive maternal presence avoid conflict like the plague. Whenever disagreements arise, they might back down immediately or apologize even when they’re not in the wrong.
