Have you ever found yourself shaking your head at the discrepancy between life’s raw realities and what Hollywood dishes out as “drama”? I mean, isn’t it wild how a movie can make losing a loved one feel like a scene out of a fairy tale—complete with a heart-wrenching soundtrack and a slow-motion goodbye? Well, Azazel Jacobs, the creative mind behind the Netflix film His Three Daughters, knows that the truth about grief is far less cinematic. In a candid conversation, he reflects on his personal loss—it was nothing like the films. Where’s the score? The dramatic lighting? Just stark silence—a sudden void. Now, through his film, Jacobs dives headfirst into the often muddled colors of mourning, showcasing how it feels to reconcile family bonds while grappling with the grim realities of death. Curious to learn how this project unfolded and how your life experiences could inspire your next screenplay? Let’s delve into the fine line between fiction and the poignant truths of our lives. LEARN MORE.
Ever gone through a life event that was completely different from how it’s depicted in the movies? Your next great idea for a screenplay might be waiting for you in the space between how cinema often portrays that experience, and how it actually goes down. Just ask Azazel Jacobs, the writer-director behind His Three Daughters.
The acclaimed writer-director was in his late teens when he experienced death for the first time, and realized he’d been “lied to,” as he puts it. “There’s no music, there’s no soundtrack, there’s no slow motion. There’s just… nothing,” he told me on my podcast Script Apart recently, describing how his brush with losing a loved one differed from how it’s shown on screen.
Crafting ‘His Three Daughters’ from Personal Experiences
His response was to write a film that showed what bereavement actually feels like. How it can be slow, unlike the dramatic renderings of death Hollywood favors. How it can be sad, happy, and even hilarious at times, as gallows humor takes over. And, crucially, how it can foster resentment among family members.
The result was His Three Daughters, a new Netflix drama starring Carrie Coon, Elizabeth Olsen, and Natasha Lyonne, that tries to show more accurately what it means to be witnessing your loved one’s last days.
“The abruptness of this person being gone and unreachable, and not being rewind the VHS to when they were alive – the suddenness of it all felt very hard for me,” recalled Jacobs, describing his mission to “represent that [abruptness] in a truthful way” in the film.
It’s the reason why the movie jolts into life instantaneously, without much of a warm-up – audiences really are thrown into the deep end of a difficult situation for the titular siblings, reunited by their father’s imminent death.
Think back to an important life experience you had recently, whether a break-up, moving cities, changing jobs, or undergoing illness. Jot down the details about that experience that movies neglected to prepare you for. Is there a story you can tell that encompasses those details to show what that experience is really like? Give that exercise a go—and for more inspiration, listen to the full interview with Jacobs above.
Read More: How to Approach Passion Projects & Personal Screenplays: Advice From a BAFTA Nominated Producer
Al Horner is a London-based journalist, screenwriter, and presenter. His work has appeared in The Guardian, Empire Magazine, GQ, BBC, Little White Lies, TIME Magazine, and more.
