Oh So Clear

You’re wandering down a street, stomach growling like a giant washing machine stuffed with twelve angry grizzlies. You’re not just hungry — you’re I’m-going-to-lick-a-stranger’s-armpit-because-they-smell-like-garlic-bread hungry.

You turn around a corner and there it is: Munchie Avenue.

The first restaurant waves at you with a confident “Sushi” sign. Through the window, you spot chefs who look like they could perform brain surgery on an ant with their knives, rice so perfectly formed it probably has its own modeling agency, and fish so fresh it’s still singing “Under the Sea.”

Next door, “Burgers” blazes in neon glory. Inside, patties sizzle, cheese drips down the burgers’ sides like molten gold, and someone’s making a milkshake so thick it could be used to fill potholes in Detroit.

A few steps later: “Pizza.” The wood-fired oven radiates warmth like a sunburnt tourist’s back after a week in the Mediterranean, mozzarella bubbles like a witch’s cauldron, and the pizzaiolos toss dough as if gravity was just a suggestion

And then… a sign that reads “Food.”

That’s it. Just “Food.” No menu. No aroma.

Where do you eat?

Vagueness repels readers

Congratulations! You’ve just experienced what readers feel when they’re starving for a good story — but instead of a feast, they get stuck scrolling past titles like “Thoughts on Success,” “My Journey,” or the timeless classic “Things I’ve Learned.”

If these are the kinds of headlines you use, you might as well save yourself some trouble and just title all your stories “Words.” Or better yet, save yourself all the trouble and stop writing.

You see, people don’t have the patience to play guessing games while scrolling. They want clarity, not cryptic clues. They want titles to be the equivalent of a GPS — something that gives them clear directions of where the story is heading. But if all you’re giving them is a vague title, you’re not giving them directions at all. Instead, you’re handing them the equivalent of a…