“Unlock the Secrets of Fierce Editing: Transform Your Manuscripts from Mundane to Mind-Blowing!”
The problem here is that clenching your teeth takes a tenth of a second, but your face takes several seconds to turn red. The events are shown in the right order, but they happen on different time-scales.
Better: George clenched his teeth. His face slowly turned red.
Again, it’s only a small change, but now the movie doesn’t need any editing. The reader can see it exactly the way it’s written.
Kick ‘Em in the As
In my critique group, we refer to this process as “kicking ‘em in the as.” Here’s the full process:
