“Unlocking the Secrets of Selflessness: How ‘Happy to Help’ Challenges the True Cost of Being a People Pleaser”
Wilson recalls taking the Brownie pledge when she was eight years old, that she will “help people at all times.” In her view, you put others before yourself, even if it doesn’t always feel good. Not surprisingly, one of the first things a self-diagnosed people pleaser can do to stop this desire is saying, “no.” One could even word it nicely, like Bartleby, the Scrivener, saying, “I would prefer not to.” However, Wilson admits that “opting out isn’t as easy as it sounds.” A feeling of guilt from declining will often follow, causing oneself more undue stress. Wilson examines how she came to be this way, and she theorizes:
