“Unraveling Secrets of the Heart: Deborah Derrickson Kossmann’s Journey in ‘Lost Found Kept’ Reveals the Power of Redemption”
LL: Your mom was an excellent R.N. She was a director of nursing at one point. She took care of her uniforms, starched her hat, wore the white hose. Nurses must be precise and organized; tidy. I think many people would find it hard to believe a nurse could live in such filth. What hoarding is under the surface, is about loss and grief, and perhaps an addiction. To stuff. To people. To holding on, when letting go is what needs to happen. Can you speak into that, please?
DDK: There is a phenomenon called “clutter blindness” where your brain habituates to mess and chaos and you don’t see it anymore. Using this defense, you can avoid some of the anxiety and unpleasant thoughts associated with the hoarding, but as a coping skill it doesn’t allow you to fix your situation. Numbers vary, but roughly 1 in 40 people in the US may have a “Hoarding Disorder” which became an official psychiatric diagnostic category in 2013. It’s not all that well understood in my field. All those things are true that you reference. In addition, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, cognitive decline in aging, and yes, addiction–the thrill of finding something with meaning, like the perfect gift for someone, can all be part of it. What was so hard to understand was how resourceful my mother had to be to dig herself in like this and keep it going for so long. I think of the house as a kind of lair or a wall that she felt protected her. She was full of contradictions.
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