When Love Defies Logic: Unraveling the Mysteries We’re Powerless to Change
Isn’t it curious how the simple act of holding a newborn car seat handle can unravel a world of fear, joy, and the overwhelming urge to be perfect? I remember gripping tight, heart pounding, convinced that one false step could turn everything upside down. J.R. Roessl’s Unmoored dives into a similar space—not of a first step into parenthood, but rather a teenage girl’s unsteady journey across uncharted waters with a father who built his own boat yet barely knew how to sail it. It’s a raw voyage of self-discovery, survival, and the chaotic push-and-pull between control and chaos. Reading it, I found myself reflecting on my own struggles to loosen my grip on life’s handles—to accept imperfection and let go without losing hold. If you’ve ever wondered how much control we really have—or if clinging tighter might actually make things slip away faster—this book might just unmoor some long-held notions.
THE RECKLESS WRITER
A review of “Unmoored” by J.R. Roessl
A father feels both joy and terror when he brings his newborn daughter home from the hospital. I still remember clutching the handle of the car seat. We had an upstairs apartment and I feared becoming unbalanced and having the precious bundle slip from my grasp.
Everyday items become obstacles. You feel a need to be perfect. Your child deserves nothing less. The only problem is that your heightened focus only serves to illustrate how imperfect you truly are.
The harder you grip on that handle, the more likely it is to get knocked away.
As happy as I was to be a new father, I was also terrified that one day my own children would grow to hate me. Eventually, I learned to put that fear aside. I think becoming a parent forces you to come to peace with all the things you cannot control.
I recognized all I could do was my best, and realizing that allowed me to relax. I held the handle loosely, but with greater security.
Unfortunately, not all fathers learn this lesson.
Growing up at sea
J.R. Roessl’s book Unmoored is about coming of age at sea. In 1969, her father constructed his own boat though he wasn’t an expert. Then he took his family on a voyage, though he didn’t really know how to sail. Along with her mother and her sisters, Roessl had the dual challenge of self-discovery and survival.
As I read the book, I experienced a kaleidoscope of emotions. Today, my own daughters are about the same age as Roessl was during this journey. Often, I wanted to reach through the pages and provide her with comfort, or a couple words of advice.
When you’re 15, it’s natural to give undue attention to unfair criticisms. I certainly remember dwelling on harsh and careless words when I was that age. Through a bizarre twist of reason, it sometimes feels most responsible to simply resign yourself to believing you are flawed.
That’s never true. But the misconception lives on despite the efforts of good people.
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