Your direct experience is aspirational gold
When you begin to recognize that your direct experience is ‘pure gold’ rather than ‘obvious,’ that’s when you become a great writer.
I don’t know what it’s like to overcome leukemia, parent two toddlers, run a million-dollar enterprise, or train for a 26.2-mile marathon. But perhaps you do, so write about it.
I know what it’s like to be a former lawyer, big sister, daughter of a parent who passed away from leukemia, and a passionate writer. If everyone wrote what they knew instead of only writing about what’s trendy, sensational, or profitable, we would have so much practical wisdom to draw from. Writing what you know is not only inspiring but also necessary.
Relating Through Writing
It is no secret that humans like to relate to one another. It is a desperate part of our nature. We think we can only succeed in something if someone like us somewhere does what we want to do.
Instead of feeding our tendency for (toxic) social comparison, we should forge a positive alternative: teaching people our ways so they too can succeed, cope, or overcome. And what better way to do that than with writing?
Why do you think people are so keen to read pieces with titles like “How I Became a Millionaire at the Age of 17” or “How My Divorce Changed My Life for the Better”? We try to resist these articles’ artificial, clickbaity nature, but they feel too irresistible. Now consider if these articles weren’t clickbait but genuine stories that inspire you to take a big leap towards your desired path in life — not that being “divorced” is a desire, I don’t think. Wouldn’t we have discovered a powerful niche?
The Catch
Self-help/guidebooks are not always direct experiences. To link back to my parenting example, I prefer to learn how to be a good parent from friends who are parents rather than parenting books. Or, perhaps, stoic teachings (I think there is something to say about philosophy inspiring general wisdom related to parenting, business, and relationships).
The distinction I’m making between friends and books is this: I can FaceTime my friend (look up “Proximity Theory”) for direct wisdom, but I can’t ring up a textbook manual to follow up on a technique that I am not sure works in my current circumstance. Books contain more fluff than practical advice; they are designed to be that way.
Write What You Know And Do It Well
So what do you do? Write the book and the fluff, but don’t steer too far from your personal experience and waste your time gathering side stories merely for confirmation bias. Focus on your story and only add what will truly add value. To do it well, follow this process.
Step 1 — Validate your life experiences and embrace the clichés
To be a human in this world is a cliché.
Your experiences in life tell the story of who you are and make a great story, no matter how cliché. But to have the courage to write what you know, you must first validate your life experiences. Embrace your turbulent and transcendent journey in this life. Understand that your unique challenges, triumphs, and insights (1) made you the person you are today and (2) are rich material to work with.
As a writer, you shouldn’t be afraid of sounding obvious or basic because, at every point in time, there will be someone, somewhere, who is searching for someone, somewhere who shares a similar experience, echoing their own. To be a human in this world is a cliché; human experiences are very predictable and redundant. We are simply trying to find these good clichés among the masses.
‘Eat, Pray, Love’ by Elizabeth Gilbert may be seen as ‘just another cliché’ account of a woman finding her purpose in life. But why did it resonate with so many people — so many women? Why did ‘Girls of Riyadh’ by Rajaa Alsanea gain global attention? Because being a woman is a cliché, whether you are in Rome or Riyadh. It is refreshing to read a candid account of an experience similar to yours (though much more dramatic and heroic), and teaches you something between the lines.
“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” — Toni Morrison
Best sellers are that for a reason
‘Think Like a Monk’ by Jay Shetty gained mainstream attention because it achieved a fundamental truth: A personal account of a personal experience makes a powerful story. All Jay Shetty had to do to succeed was find the uniqueness in the cliché; a young man of Indian descent born in the UK who becomes a monk, then becomes a star, and is now telling you everything he learned along the way.
How many monks do you know of who became world-famous motivational speakers, officiated celebrity weddings, and hosted big stars — including a president — on their talk show?
Your experiences in life tell the story of who you are and make a great story, no matter how cliché.
Step 2 — Do it Right: Give your readers gold
There is no point relaying your experience to readers without delivering a point or message they can then apply to their lives. Ryan Holiday believed that the reason ‘The Daily Stoic’ (both book and newsletter) became a massive success was because he didn’t simply relay philosophy, instead, he shared practical wisdom ‘meditations’ that could be applied in day-to-day life.
So if you’re thinking, who wants to know about my useless career, shifting between four different jobs, and ruining my relationships along the way? Trust me, readers want to know, but only if you have an aspirational or practical message that you deliver with your story. If you manage to transform your experience into a story that inspires your readers, you have found gold that you can then share.
To quote Nicolas Cole, “You are not the main character in your story. The reader is.” Stories must relate to readers otherwise they are useless.
Share your experience, yes, but only after you’ve drawn out the practical wisdom from your story. Do the work: reflect on the lessons learned and the strategies that helped you succeed, cope, or overcome a specific challenge. Be a guide and hero for your reader.
Step 3 — Do it with style
If you are going to share a vulnerable and personal story with your readers, you might as well do it with style. Do some research or work with your publisher to find the best format for your story. Though ‘The Daily Stoic’ wasn’t a personal account, it offered a unique format that was infinitely practical. Are you going to write a memoir or a third-person narrative? A collection of diary entries or a self-satirical commentary? Excellent writers take into account the format of their story.
Takeaways:
- Write what you know — direct wisdom from personal experience is gold for your readers.
- Validate your life experiences.
- Embrace the clichés in your story, but find the unique elements.
- Don’t just relay your story — offer practical wisdom and a message that readers can apply to their own lives.
- Present your story in a style and format that enhances its impact.
Isra Alaradi is a passionate writer based in Bahrain, a little island in the Middle East.
Write What You Know was originally published in The Writing Cooperative on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
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Author: Isra Alaradi
