The Unseen Secret Behind Joy V.’s Enigmatic Lightkeeping Journey Revealed
“Yes, I’ll be OK!”
She saw right through my chipper tone.
“Be honest, Mom!”
***
After months of this, I fell into an existential depression: What did any of it matter? My day job as a website editor felt especially tedious and pointless (and a lot of it was). But my love for creative writing began to feel that way, too. Before I had found Nathan, I had been revising a memoir draft about the impact of our mother’s mental illness on my own mental health. The manuscript had won two awards and seemed to stand a good chance of being published. But in the weeks after the phone call, I had to shelve it — not just because I was exhausted, but because I felt stupid. In the book, I had written an egregiously presumptuous chapter about Nathan, deciding he had “chosen” estrangement as a way to cope with our mother. What if I had let that get published?
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