The Unseen Secret Behind Joy V.’s Enigmatic Lightkeeping Journey Revealed
His always-gentle disposition: I was — and am — lucky that way.
But it also sucks: If Nathan was an asshole, it’d be easier to detach.
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The nightlight also reminded me of something I had read in addiction literature for families: the importance of being a lighthouse for your loved one, and not the rescue boat. This metaphor gave me permission to find a middle ground, one in which I could live up to my personal values of compassion and kindness without exhausting myself. It also helped me pivot with how I talked to Nathan. Instead of begging him to go to the hospital or rehab, I merely tried to get to know him better. It was a way to stay in touch, to carry the light for him, but with fewer expectations.
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