I Entered My Screenplay Into 3 Major Competitions and Paid For Critiques, Here’s What I’d Do…

I Entered My Screenplay Into 3 Major Competitions and Paid For Critiques, Here’s What I’d Do Differently

The good, the bad, and the daunting from Hollywood script readers

When I entered my feature film script about a Dutch painter in World War II into a few more prominent screenplay competitions, I knew I was in for an interesting ride. I want to preface this article by saying that I am by no means the most seasoned screenwriter. I’ve read books on the craft (and still do as I continue to learn), experienced a writer’s group that focused on feature-length screenplays and went to school for film. But there is still a lot I need to work on, and as much as I love my script, I was already aware of its glaring issues when I submitted it for competition.

That being said, I actually did get quite a bit of positive feedback, to my surprise, and I found just about all the criticisms valid and helpful. Here’s what I learned and what I hope could be beneficial to you if you ever decide to submit your script to competitions.

The First Reader’s Feedback

Overall, the first reader loved the emotional weight my screenplay held. They said they felt connected to the main character and were thoroughly invested in her journey from the first page to the last. Wow! What a compliment! Thinking back, I was incredibly emotionally invested in the character’s story, and I’m so thankful this was evident to the reader.

As far as what could have been improved, the reader’s main note was that the pacing was off, and as a result, much of the action seemed to develop too late in the film. While they praised the tense moments throughout certain scenes, the pacing caused both the plot and character arcs to fall flat. There were also decisions made by the protagonist in the third act that seemed like a vast departure from the initial premise. The last scenes of the film also contained a significant time jump that didn’t seem to land.

As far as production value, the script reader mentioned that it’s more challenging to get funding from producers and studios for period pieces due to the cost of costumes and sets that would be needed to depict the time period. In the end, the reader said they really loved the themes and emotions of my script overall and felt the story could be fixed with a few revisions. This wasn’t a bad way to start the feedback process until…

The Second Reader’s Feedback

I actually received comments from two different readers with this particular competition. I should also mention that this contest is one of the most difficult in Hollywood, so I needed to prepare myself emotionally.

In this case, both readers felt I had a strong premise and an interesting angle for a story set in World War II, but that the execution was poor. They didn’t like a lot of the pacing and felt there were some decisions made by the protagonist that didn’t make sense. This point mainly boiled down to the fact that I had my protagonist make a decision that directly led to the demise of a character she needed to protect. In essence, her character arc went backward instead of progressed. There is some overlap from the first reader here, which I feel is useful as it shows that there were consistent issues that needed to be changed. If feedback is too subjective across the board, it can be hard for the writer to know what to fix, so this was positive.

Something Changed By the Third Contest

I was actually the most surprised by the results from the third competition. The feedback wasn’t that much different from that of the first reader. Overall, they liked the idea but felt the plot, execution, and character arcs could use work.

What shocked me the most with this contest was that my script actually made it to the second round! Sure, my screenplay didn’t make it to the quarterfinals or semi-finals, but I didn’t expect it to place at all. I’ve been a fan of this particular film festival for a long time, and I even submitted a short film a few years ago that didn’t end up getting accepted. This was a really nice way to end my experience of paid script critiques.

My Main Takeaways From This Experience

The first thing I learned is that when you are emotionally invested in your character and concept, your readers will pick up on it. Even with the harsher critiques I received, I could tell that those readers cared a lot about the concept and premise, and I’m very thankful they were invested enough to give detailed notes regarding what didn’t work.

My second takeaway is that if you have a gut feeling about what is and isn’t working in your script, you’re probably right. I wasn’t all too taken aback by some of the criticisms, as there were sections in my screenplay I was a shaky on even by the time the third draft rolled around. Reader feedback will amplify the more vulnerable parts of your screenplay, so if you have problem sections as I did, odds are they’ll need to be reworked.

Lastly, I learned firsthand that having solid pacing and structure matters. I’m an avid Save the Cat User and Screenwriter’s Bible user, and while I don’t think structure alone makes a great screenplay, I know that a lot of my problems stemmed from the fact that I let my structure go off the rails. Going into the fourth draft, I plan to rework the significant plot points beat for beat and then rewrite the feature from the top down.

I think having the bare bones of my plot beats in place and abiding by basic structure rules will help me refine the overall story and arcs and make everything more cohesive. I’m thankful to have entered my “still” messy third draft when I did, as it gave me a clearer picture of where to go next as I tackle further rewrites. Rejection and criticism are tough for us as writers, but there are always gems of wisdom to be found, even in the harshest comments.

Specifics I Would Change If I Could Go Back

I needed a firmer grasp of my protagonist’s development from the beginning. Her journey started to slump in the second and third acts because I didn’t fulfill her character needs on more than a basic level. Robert McKee discusses the importance of fulfilling a character’s conscious and unconscious desires in his book, Story. In my protagonist’s case, it’s clear that she desires to be a painter and desperately wants her family to return to the way it was before her brother died in the war. It’s also clear that she has an unconscious desire to feel secure in herself and fulfill a higher purpose. I would have written my character in a way that showed more personal growth and heroic qualities by the end, but instead of making her braver and more sacrificial, she drew back into being fearful, selfish, and rash.

I also didn’t have enough solid ideas of where I saw the protagonist going. In the end, I got lost in the dramatization of the setting. I also didn’t have a clear, fleshed-out villain. The antagonist is just as important as the protagonist in any story, and my screenplay lacked this, leaving it to feel one-sided. There was a character that could have been a strong villain, but because I didn’t introduce him until halfway through the screenplay, he wasn’t compelling enough to the story or protagonist.

The dialogue was also an area in my screenplay that proved lackluster. Dialogue is pivotal, especially in screenwriting, and often less is more. I got wrapped up in a few cheesy philosophical statements with my dialogue. Evidently, I had too much dialogue that didn’t serve the plot. My characters also ended up having similar voices, which comes back to the issue I had with not only under-developing my main character, the supporting characters fell to the wayside. I plan to have less but more purposeful dialogue in my next draft as well as better-defined secondary characters.

There were plenty of other issues with my screenplay, The Muse, but I believe the above changes are the most critical reasons why it wasn’t as strong as it could have been. Thankfully, I have a better idea of what I would do differently in the future. Still, the script would have done much better in the contests if I had the basics of character arc, backstory, villain, and plot fleshed out more purposefully before drafting.

Writing is an art as much as a discipline, and that’s why the best stories often take years to develop. But having the basics of story and character down and a firm plan for your plot can save you a lot of time. Take it from me, and happy writing!

I Entered My Screenplay Into 3 Major Competitions and Paid For Critiques, Here’s What I’d Do… was originally published in The Writing Cooperative on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.