The Surprising Secret Todd Henry Reveals About Becoming an Irresistible Leader Everyone Depends On

Schawbel: What are your top three pieces of career advice?

1. Henry: You need to recognize that peripheral vision is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because you can see to both sides and all around you, and you can get a lot of ideas from what you see other people doing. It’s a curse because as you see what others are doing it’s tempting to feel like you’re falling behind, or that you’re somehow not keeping up with your peers. I hear people say “I’m falling behind!” all the time. Behind what? According to whom? Who told you that? And they reply, “Well, someone at my age should be doing XYZ, or should be in such-and-such role,” and I say “Who said?!?” Where do these arbitrary expectations about career advancement come from? It’s from looking around you instead of pursuing what you actually want. You have to run your own race, and you can’t allow what others are doing to dictate your actions. “What should someone do in my situation?” is a terrible and potentially destructive question. Instead, you should ask “What am I building, and does this contribute to it?”
2. Recognize that “ghost rules” can run your life if you let them. These are invisible narratives that you believe about what’s possible for you and what’s not, and what you’re capable of. Yes, of course you have limitations. But make sure that those are tested limitations, not assumptions you’re making based upon something your fourth grade teacher told you. Are you living with invisible boundaries and “ghost rules” that are solely the result of false narratives you’ve adopted as gospel truth?
3. Know what you stand for. Very few people blow the big decisions. Instead, they make small compromises over time, and one day they look at their life and think “how on earth did I end up here?” You need a framework for how you’ll make decisions that’s based upon your core values and what truly matters to you. Otherwise, you’ll always be tempted to cave into the pressure to conform to what everyone expects of you. Spend some time thinking about your core values and how you’ll make career decisions moving forward, even when someone is waving money or prestige in your face.